So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
