Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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