i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
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Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
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It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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