So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
