Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
