Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
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