just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
