grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
He had one of those small greek statue penises
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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