dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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