Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
