An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things ππ
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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