And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
