I think im going to throw up on grandma
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
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Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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