All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize