I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
