Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
