ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
