So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
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I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
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What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
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