Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
