My brain says no but my pants say off.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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