im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
