Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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