Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
