Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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