I think I am morally bankrupt
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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