and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
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