Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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