i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
