can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
