last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize
