I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
