had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
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