Dude my mom stole all your condoms
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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