Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
All I want is dick and wine.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Randomize
