I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I think my moral compass just broke
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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