The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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