I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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