Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
