super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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