I feel like abortions should bother me more
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
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