the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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