i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Randomize
