and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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