the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
