Having a random hookup so left but love u
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center