My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?