Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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