I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I got inside last night via doggy door
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work