i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
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It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
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I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
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