i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.