She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.