We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize
