he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
