So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
