I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
this is an emotional support booty call
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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