i don't like sucking hair
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Randomize
