If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
