you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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